Applying the same concept to a larger population, you are more likely to be friends with someone if they have 58 friends (your chance of being one of those friends is 58 out of 7 billion) than if they only have a few (your chance of being one of their friends is then only 3 out of 7 billion). So, if you average the amount of friends that your friends have, it is likely larger than the actual average number of friends that people have.
This concept also applies to number of sexual partners. You are more likely to sleep with someone if they sleep with 58 people than you are to sleep with them if they only sleep with 3 people. If someone has slept with zero people, he or she doesn't get counted in anyone's calculation of "average number of partners that my partners have." So, when someone looks at the average number of partners that her partners have had, it is likely higher than the actual average. The people that have slept with more people are overrepresented and the people that have slept with fewer people are underrepresented.
According to Social Comparison Theory, people form their own behavior by comparing themselves to others. So, if they compare themselves to their sexual partners, it is likely that their partners have had more partners than the actual average, so they will form their behavior based a skewed number. In other words, they will think, My partners have a high number of partners, so it is acceptable for me to sleep with more people, when in fact, their partners have had more partners than the average. So everyone sleeps with more people, pulling the actual average up. This is one possible factor that contributes to the national average number of sexual partners being higher now than it was in 1900.
I don't have the authority to make a judgment on whether or not the rising average number of sexual partners is favorable, but we can learn from this phenomenon to enhance our individual lives.
- Don't be discouraged when it seems like you are lacking friends. Using your existing friends as a comparison group, it will appear that most people have more friends than you do, when this is actually not the case.
- Appreciate your friends that only have a few friends and your partners that only have a few partners. If you get to have sex with someone that only has a few partners, you're pretty lucky to be one of them. 58 people can say "I slept with someone that slept with 58 people," but only 3 people can say "I slept with someone that slept with 3 people."
- Consider this concept in other situations. It also applies to family size (you are more likely to meet someone that has six siblings than is an only child) and crowded public places (you're more likely to be part of a crowd than part of a few random people). Can you think of any others?
